Choot Choot !!!!!

And so on the weekend of the 10th and 11th of August we celebrated Andy's Bulls Party. All I can say is that we did the tradition of a Bulls Party full justice and there were more than a couple occasions where I thought I might die from laughing so hard. We did of course lose a few soldiers along the way, breakages were rife, which was to be expected considering the amount of straight cane that was consumed and we duly gave the groom an incredibly hard time.The house we stayed at was colossal. It boasted in the region of 6 bedrooms, all en-suite and all comfortably sleeping between 2 and 3 madmen. Without exaggerating I would say that if everyone brought themselves a mattress to sleep on this mansion could have slept around 50 people. While maneuvering yourself between the winding corridors you would often pass a random plasma varying in size from 24 inch to 42 inch. There was a bar area, a rooftop sundowner area, a pool, braai facilities, 3 levels of living space, a games room which included table tennis, pool table and dart board and enough room in the drive way to hold 10 Hummers.

The first night was incredibly hilarious and a little siff all at the same time. For those of you who have had the pleasure of witnessing Borat in his now infamous luminous green mankini, you'll appreciate how hard it was to not gag when Andy made his first appearance in a replica of said onesy. As he casually strutted down the flight of stairs to Elton John's "The Bitch is Back" the rest of us rolled around on the floor uncontrollably and I thought I was actually going to have a black-out and die right there from lack of breathing. This kicked the night off on a good note and things generally went downhill from there. Lots of drinking, lots of laughing and plenty of pool and table tennis. Shots of cane were being issued for such minor offences as losing a random ching or coming off second best at a table tennis dual. Shooter pool also made an appearance on the first night and once again shots of cane were in abundance.Closer to midnight we decided to head into the budding metropolis of Ballito. Being the responsible adults that we are, we phoned a taxi to come and fetch us. Being the irresponsible children that we are, we hijacked the taxi as it arrived to come and fetch us and drove it down the road. The look on the cab driver's fave was priceless. We later learned that his name was Johan or Johannes, but Jimmy seemed to suit him better. Jimmy was to be our very tolerant chauffeur for most of the weekend. Saturday morning was a tough one. Slowly but surely we all managed to rise and the slightly annoying bright and smiling faces of the "new guys" who had arrived didn't seem to make many of us feel any better. 18 holes of golf were looming and the thought of another ride on the cane train encouraged a few dry barks around the place.

We played Maidstone which is a 9 hole golf course with a bit of soul. It's dirt cheap to play but most of the holes are actually damn entertaining. The fairways were in good nick and the driver was out on most holes. Pity the standard of golf was so terrible. After golf we all headed back for another crazy night at the castle. Memories of the previous night had faded and we were all very thirsty. Saturday was much the same as the night before, which was unfortunate, because we all had to endure another night of looking at Andy in his mankini. Although at one point it was decided to end the pain so we went outside and tied Andy to the light pole and skipped back inside for another beer and another game of table tennis. The thing that made this Bulls Party so enjoyable was Andy's sporting behaviour of passing out on both nights and due to the depth of his sleep we were afforded the opportunity of abusing him to the max. Certain guys took things to a whole new level, you know who you are, and it was warmly welcomed if the cheers of laughter were anything to go by.

I don't think the memories of this weekend will fade fast and unfortunately for some of us Andy has taken full stock of all abuse and is storing it deep in his memory bank for future Bulls parties. Although I'm not too stressed, all I have to do is outlast Andy and I can be in line to abuse him all over again. Aaaahhhh.....good times.