The Days in the Lives of Tofo Mountain

On the 14th of June myself, Cally, Mike, Jane, Greg, Courts and Marc departed for Tofo Point, Mozambique on our first ever surf trip. Armed with 10 boards we were anticipating epic conditions for 5 straight days. Unfortunately the conditions didn't work in our favour and we were only rewarded with one cooking day of surf. Nevertheless, the trip was a success but I'm not going to waste my time telling you all about it.....because Cally kept a journal of the entire trip which I've copied below for you to read. Can everyone please give a warm welcome to.........

CAL'S CORNER

Saturday 14 June

Alarm bells went off at 3am and less than an hour later the bakkie was packed to its max, we had fetched Mike, Jane and Greg and we were heading out of the bright lights with the Beach Boys’ “Surfing Safari” blasting in our ears. We pulled into the Engen/Wimpy in Mkuzi at 7am where we met up with Marc and Courts. The boys spent a good 15 minutes ogling the stack of surfboards in the bin of Marc’s bakkie while the girls got busy putting the breakfast orders through. With full tummys we were back on the road and making our way to the Swazi and Mozambique borders. The border posts were fairly uneventful, just a lot of forms to fill out, long queues and blank looking officials.
We reached the hustle and bustle of Maputo around lunch time and immediately set out on a mission to find a place to eat. Maputo is an absolute maze with hundreds of one ways and half the roads blockaded. We finally got some clear directions and in our excitement to locate the restaurant we lost Marc and Courts who were trailing behind us. Thank goodness for the walky talkies we had with us! Steve managed to direct them to us but their faces were like thunder. Once we had got to the restaurant and we had sunk our first drinks and ordered Prego rolls all round everyone calmed down and we took in the beauty of the bay and all agreed that it finally felt like we were on holiday.

After lunch we slowly meandered our way to Casa Lisa which was about an hour out of Maputo. We got there in time to catch the end of the Springbok/Wales game and enjoyed a drink at the bar. Our rooms at Casa Lisa were pretty simple but after a long day's driving a hot shower and a bed was all we needed. Bar the thousands of bats that infested our thatched roofs which forced me to spend the entire evening with a hood over my head, it was very comfortable. We were offered dinner which was per-peri chicken and all signed up. There were plenty of laughs around the table that evening and it really set the tone for the rest the holiday.
Sunday 15 June

We were up at 6am and staring at a 7 hour long journey to Tofo. It was a long drive dodging pot holes and only stopping to fill up with petrol or to have a quick wee but we finally made it. All the boys had been talking about for the past two days was the surfing conditions and the wind direction and blah blah blah and as we rounded the corner and got our fist sight of the ocean we saw clear, blue, FLAT water. There was a deathly silence, then a lot of profanity, then a decision to drink through bit. Our house was a little basic but had all the essentials. The most essential thing being, Costello, who washed our dishes, made our beds, cleaned our prawns but most importantly gave us the go ahead on what seafood was fresh and what was not by simply smiling, nodding his head and saying “Yes, good, good”. We took what he said as gospel! We kind of figured that seeing as how he was the one who was going be cleaning the bathrooms he would be the last person who would want us to get sick. Marc and Courts drew the short straw and had Greg share a room with them while Steve and I had the room leading onto the lounge with a sarong hung up as a door! Bags were unpacked and surfboards off loaded as we slowly settled into our home. We had our first braai in “the pit” that evening and it wasn’t long before we were all in bed.

Monday 16 June

The guys went out for their first surf in less than desirable conditions while the girls soaked up the sun on the beach. Marc claimed the first injury of the holiday by being stung by blue bottles. Courts offered to wee on him but he decided he’d rather just go for a lie down instead. Greg was our next victim when he took a sting to the lip while snorkelling. The boys were in pretty low spirits after what Steve would claim was one of his most average surfs so we decided to hit the town for lunch to cheer them up. After a wander around the market promising all the vendors we’d be back the next day to make our purchases we made our way to a restaurant called “Waterworks”. We seriously chilled out there and enjoyed our lunch. Afterwards we went for a walk along Tofo’s main beach and ended up at Casa Barry for yet another beer for the guys and a G&T for the girls. One last bit of haggling at the market for fish and prawns and we were on our way home. The girls took to their beds immediately for a little afternoon nap while the boys tackled up and headed off for a bit of fishing. Another unsuccessful venture for the boys but we had prawns and calamari to look forward to that night. Greg and Mike stepped up as our chefs for the evening and produced the most delicious meal. We were all a little hesitant at first, even after Costello had given us the “A OK”, but after one taste none of us held back. After dinner we decided to play “Balderdash”. Mike was the first “dasher” and tried to explain to us how the game worked. Most of us switched off half way through the rules but A-Class student Greg said he was up to speed and to please continue. The rest of us waited for the practice round. We all picked it up pretty quickly and before long there was absolute hysterics. Another awesome day had by all!

Tuesday 17 June

Mark and Greg set out early in the bakkie to go look for better surf along the beach only to return, on foot, to say that the bakkie was stuck. Steve and Mike’s surf was put on hold as they all headed off to “rescue” Marc’s bakkie. With the help of a 4X4 and about 20 locals the boys managed to get the bakkie out and came scuttling back with their tails between their legs. That afternoon Steve, Marc, Courts and I decided to do a little retail therapy. Firstly, we went to the market and found a few awesome crays, then we set off for Inhambane. Not much retail therapy there unless you count buying charcoal and rolls as therapeutic. Afternoon snoozes were on the cards as we all agreed that we were going to try make it past 9am before we collapsed into bed. The boys got busy making the braai in the evening as we all looked forward to crays and a fish that Costello had recommended we buy. Mike was a little concerned at this point of our holiday that the boys street cred with the girls was at an all time low, what with the failed surfing, snorkelling, fishing and 4X4'ing but they redeemed themselves with their Jamie Oliver cooking skills. Yummy dinner!!! Their redemption however was short lived. Courts brought out her “Pig Out” game and social drinking was taken to a new level. Within 10minutes we were oinking like pigs, rolling on the floor, wearing each others clothes and Mike and Greg even gave us a little “Tofo Mountain” skit – Hilarious! By 2am we were quite proud of ourselves for making it into the wee hours of the morning and started to wind down for bed. Well, that’s what I thought until I heard a commotion outside and Steve came looking for the medical kit. Apparently bush diving into a thorn bush seemed like a good idea! Courts and I were out with our kits and stern faces until Greg started calling Steve, who was sitting there with bandage strapped around his head, Vaal Baatman. Then the giggles really started. By 3am the boys had most of the thorns pulled out of their bodies, were dettolled into oblivion, strapped up and sent straight to bed.

Wednesday 18 June

We had hardly put the medical kits away when we had to haul them out again after the boys returned from an early morning surf with cuts and scrapes or as in Greg’s case “lacerations” all over them. With the boys feeling a little battered and bruised and not to mention hung-over we decided one of VD’s lie downs was necessary. Feeling marginally better after waking, Courts and I set off for a surf lesson with Marc and Steve at Tofo’s main beach. I was exhausted within 5 minutes and have a totally new found respect for the art of surfing. Mike, Jane and Greg came and joined us and while we all sat on the beach chilling Greg ran up and down the beach throwing a ball for the pack of dogs he had managed to acquire. He was aptly referred to as “the dog whisperer” from then on. That evening we all shooshed up and went to Dino’s for dinner. We sat for well over an hour waiting for our food while the resident puppy proceeded to vomit not once, not twice but several times all over the floor. We spent the rest of the evening with our feet up on our chairs for fear of being vomited on. Our food finally arrived, about the same time as the CD started to repeat itself, and let’s just say thank goodness we were all starving or it might have gone untouched. A very disappointing meal – Steve likened it to a truly crap day on the golf course - high expectation, no result! There was no lingering after dinner as we all shot home and consoled ourselves with tea and choc chip brownies before hitting the sack.

Thursday 19 June

We woke up to a truly miserable day. Grey clouds, rainy and extremely windy. True to form, Jane aka "Polly" was at the stove putting the kettle on and Rummykub was hauled out as we had a lazy morning indoors. Once boredom had set in we decided to take a drive to Barra Lodge. What an awesome place! Courts and I left armed with price lists and vowing that we would be back. On the way home we stopped every few hundred metres to hand out sweets to the local children who came running towards us shouting “sweet sweet”. However when we tried to take a quick photo of them they turned and ran away shrieking. Their toothless smiles were priceless and it will definitely go down in my books as my most special moment of the holiday. A little more haggling for prawns at the market was necessary before we went home. We thought better to have our final night of seafood tonight and not on our last night as no one relished the idea of an 11 hour long journey with seafood poisoning. The Van Der Hugo’s, Steve & I decided to treat ourselves to some sushi at Casa Barry for lunch. It was surprisingly really, really good. Once we had had a good hit of wasabi we made our way home, chilled with a bit more Rummikub, then started preparing for our Seafood Feast. With the lack of any decent surf or even the ability to just lie out in the sun and soak up the rays the focus of the day was definitely on food. We had another great meal that evening and it wasn’t long before we were all in bed, hoping to get a good night’s sleep for the much anticipated good waves the following day.

Friday 20 June

FINALLY, we woke up to bright, clear skies, no wind and awesome waves! There was panic in the camp as the guys threw on their baggies, slapped on their sun cream, tried to make decisions on which boards would be best (they had 100 to choose from) and then… a lull, while they all took a moment to survey the scene and contemplate their best way of getting out there, do they paddle out, do they jump from the rocks and risk damaging their boards and not to mention their bones… decisions, decisions… and then off they dashed! They spent all morning out there, only coming in when hunger and thirst got the better of them and then they were off again. We finally had some happy faces and a few words like “frikken awesome” and “insane” went flying around. That afternoon as the sun was going down we took a walk to the point and had a few sundowners while we reminisced on the holiday. It was a pretty unanimous decision amongst the boys that the surf today was their absolute high of the holiday. The Dino’s Café experience came up as a low for most of us but Steve said his low was without a doubt when he was battling to get back out to surf after he had caught a “frikken awesome” wave and had thought that it was the end of his surfing for the day. He got his high though when after much flailing and perseverance he made it out again. Well done baby! We had one last braai in “the pit” – enjoyed some zulu sushi as we were staying away from seafood and all sat back, so chilled, so content, taking pleasure in our last night in Mozambique.

Saturday 21 June

We had an early start, packing up our things, loading the surfboards and then taking one last moment to sit and take in the beautiful view we had become so used to.Having resumed our normal positions in the car we were on our way. The girls had diligently made rolls for lunch but by 9am they had been flattened so by the time we reached Maputo we were ravenous. We had spied a KFC (or as the locals like to call it KFeeeCeee) when we were LOST in Maputo a week ago so we headed back in, in an attempt to find it. It took 5 mins to make a wrong turn into a one way. As luck would have it Marc and Courts were stopped by the police while we narrowly escaped. They managed to beg and plead their way out of a fine. Not 2 minutes later we were stopped by the same police in the exact same roadblock and they wanted to check our documents. We had had enough run ins with the law for one day and decided to give KFeeeCee a miss and just head to the border. We stopped at a petrol station on the outskirts of Maputo and had to settle on Provita’s and cheese for lunch. I kid you not, I had just munched my way through my last dry Provita, when we came across a KFC. Can you believe it?! We couldn’t! So although we were all full by now, we went inside anyway and had a good whiff just to make ourselves feel better. Damn that Maputo! We got to Swaziland at 5ish and all quickly jumped in the showers at the B&B before making our way to the Siteki Hotel for a good, square, much needed meal. After stuffing ourselves and having one last laugh around the table we went back to the B&B, said our good nights and fell into bed.

Sunday 22 June

The final leg of our journey. One last border post to get through and a quick bite to eat at the old Wimpy in Mkuzi and finally HOME SWEET HOME. Another long day driving but by that afternoon we were all home safe and sound. Bags unpacked, washing machines going, catching up on TV, visiting family and already the days on Tofo Beach seemed like a lifetime ago. But the memories are etched into our minds forever….