The Badger's Set

Triple Challenge 2009

2009-11-23T16:22:00.016Z

On Sunday the 15th November, Mike and I took part in the Triple Challenge. As mentioned before, I was helluva nervous for this tri-athlon and I can now confirm that all reservations and fears of excruciating pain were not unfounded and it was by far the toughest physical experience I have ever endured. The good news though is that we finished, and in my mind, that’s all we set out to do. I have never been so happy as I was when after 8 hours and 53 minutes we finally crossed the finish line.

Out of the 3 legs, the run was my biggest concern, but as it turned out, I actually enjoyed it the most out of everything. It probably had something to do with the fact that it was the first leg of the day and my body felt fresh for most of the route. Anyone who says it’s downhill from PMB to Camperdown though, obviously hasn’t tried running it. There seemed to be an endless amount of hills and each one was tougher and tougher to get through. Overall though I was happy with the run because my hip and knee injuries that have been plaguing me for quite some time held up nicely, and I entered the transition area feeling good about the day. The 20km run was ticked off and we were ready for the ride.

An obvious occurrence on the day was that Mike waited for me quite a bit on the run and he was always just ahead of me trying to pull me along. No surprises there – Mike is substantially quicker than me in the running department. But the surprise of the day was by how much he effed me up in the ride as well. All his talk of me being the better rider had clearly gone to my head and I had completely underestimated the brutality of the 52km mountain bike ride from Camperdown to Inanda Dam. Quite a lot of the route was on tar, but a substantial amount was dirt roads and single track. The continuous onslaught of hill after hill took it’s toll and that coupled with the fact that my legs now had 21km of running fatigue in them saw me spiral into a very average pace on the riding leg.

About halfway into the ride, my right leg started cramping and every time it completed one pedal rotation it felt like someone was hitting me just above the knee with a ten pound hammer. One rotation **HAMMER** two rotations **HAMMER** three rotations **HAMMER**……etc, etc. At one point I almost collapsed while I was walking up a hill to catch up to Mike when my leg went into spazm and I had to quickly swing my left leg into place to catch my falling body, while at the same time trying to stretch my right leg out to halt the seizure. This of course sent Mike into heaps of laughter.

The last 15km of the ride almost went better for me than the preceding 37km. We finished by riding some very technical single track sections and a moment’s lack of concentration would certainly have resulted in some heavy injuries. As we entered the final transition area at Inanda Dam, it was heart-breaking knowing that we still had a 3 hour paddle ahead of us.

After some quick re-fuelling, Mike and I ambled down to the water’s edge and lowered ourselves into the boat and began the monotonous paddle around Inanda Dam. The change from using legs to arms didn’t do anything to ease the pain and initially I actually found it tougher than the cycling (if that was at all possible). But once we got into a rhythm my arms and shoulders held up quite well. There was no shortage of ‘rests’ out in the middle of the dam where we both just completely stopped paddling and attempted to regain some form of strength to carry on. These rests cost us at least 5 or 6 places and watching boats pass us along the way reminded us of how little we had trained in the paddling department. In total, Mike and I had paddled 3 times in preparation for this 18km paddle. Oh well. There was one main portage of 1.7km where we had to get out the boat and carry the dam thing over a big headland and onto another section of the dam. At that point, Mike and I were definitely ‘over it’ and were simply moving forward by putting one foot in front of the other and taking one stroke at a time. On the portage it became obvious that sitting down after all that running and riding was doing nothing for the joints and Mike and I both battled big time to bend the knees and walk comfortably up or down hills. Once back on the water it was a seemingly never-ending paddle back to the start (and finish). The sheer joy of seeing the finish line gave me goose-bumbs all over and I actually couldn’t believe we had done it. We felt like heroes as we approached the shore as well because there was nothing short of 15 friends and family members to clap us in.

As we got out the boat, we realized that the prize-giving was already underway and they were announcing the lucky draw prizes. Imagine my excitement when I heard my name called out. It was awesome, I had just won a prize. It was common knowledge that the Triple Challenge lucky draw prizes were always of a high caliber. Previous prizes that I was aware of were hi-fi’s, Garmens and other expensive items. Imagine my confusion then, when I was handed a 4kg yellow box of instant mash. There was enough powder in that box to make 240 servings or the equivalent of 24kgs of mash. While I was still reeling from my booby prize, Mike hobbled back from the prize arena because his name had also been called out…he had won a new pair of New Balance running shoes….no limit on the price. Yup that seemed like fair way to finish the day.

Thanks to our seconding team (wives, girlfriends and moms) for driving all over the place and being at the right places at the right time. That along with putting wheels on bikes, grabbing contact lenses and making sure we were eating and drinking sufficiently made for one of the most enjoyable days out. It was great seeing your faces at those transition zones.

A Little Crazy Perhaps?

2009-10-26T18:52:00.004Z

Following on from one of my previous posts (here) regarding the fact that myself and a few others have started running - well there’s actually a bit more to it than just getting fit for the hell of it. I’ll start with a round-up of what we have achieved so far.

Along with various training runs of up to 18km, we have successfully completed the following races: The Beds for Africa 16km and The South Coast Half Marathon. Campo decided that the Half Marathon wasn’t challenging enough and opted for the full marathon, while Shaun, Mike and I went for the 21km. We all completed the race in good time, some of us in more pain than others, namely Campo who had a very tough time but finished nevertheless.

Myself, Mike and Rich also rode the Amashovashova 2 weekends ago, which is a 106km ride from Pietermaritzburg to Durban. Thanks to our superb seconding team (Cally and Jane) we had plenty of snacks and water bottle refills during the ride which certainly helped us along the arduous yet scenic route.

Looking ahead, there are 3 big events lined up. First on the list for myself and Mike is the Triple Challenge, which is on the 15th November. Distances may vary slightly, but essentially we’re looking at a 20km trail run followed by a 52km mountain bike ride and finally ending with a 22km paddle across Inanda Dam, which includes 2 portages. I’m absolutely shitting myself for this !!! Mike has done a couple of these in previous years and I have somehow been roped into doing this with him.

The 2nd event coming up is the Hillcrest Villagers 42.2km marathon in February next year. I have never run further than 21km before, so this is going to be one helluva challenge. Not only do I need to complete it but I need to finish in under 5 hours. Reason being, that you have to complete a standard marathon in under 5 hours in order to qualify for Comrades. That’s right, I’m attempting Comrades next year. There I said it!! It makes me want to go check my rods just thinking about it. But ja, assuming my qualifying marathon goes well, I will be attempting Comrades next year along with Shuz, Mike, Campo and a few others.

So that’s where we are at the moment. Training for Triple Challenge and then come the last week in November the focus will shift purely onto the running.

Here’s a few pics from the Amashova last weekend.

Coming through Camperdown

Westville

Andy & Phil's Wedding

2009-10-16T16:29:00.004Z

So obviously after the bulls party, comes the wedding. The ceremony was held in the Chapel at Kearsney College. I thought you either had to be an old boy or well connected to secure that venue? Campo is a Westville boy, so maybe he’s well connected. Or perhaps it was his life credo to always greet everyone by their name and to always display impeccable manners around his elders, that impressed one of the Masters at a Westville vs Kearsney cricketing campaign that secured the elusive Chapel. Either way it is definitely a great venue and was chosen well.
Everyone looked the part and it was great to see that all the groomsmen were in attendance. Barnsi had missed the rehearsal the night before due to ‘not being able to find his car after shopping at Gateway’. You can’t say that’s not original.

Philippa looked beautiful walking down the aisle and both bride and groom had that look on their faces suggesting they wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.

After the ceremony we cruised over to the reception which was at a renovated castle down near Shongweni way. While the newly married couple antagonized their cheek muscles on the photo shoot, the rest of us guests milled around outside the castle eating snacks and playing ‘man-sized’ Jenga.
Once Andy and Philippa arrived we made our way into the reception hall and the rest of the night unfolded with all the usual formalities and culinary festivities that these weddings usually entail. A particular highlight of mine was Barnsi’s 21 point speech about Andy, which represented the 21 years that they have known each other.

All in all it was one helluva good party and a great celebration. Cheers Andy and Phil, here’s to many many happy years of marriage.

Campo's Bulls Party

2009-10-05T17:07:00.006Z

A few weeks ago Andy Camp (Campo) and Philippa tied the knot. The nice thing about weddings is that a raucous bulls party usually precedes the main event, and this wedding was no different. Rich Webb had arranged a spectacular weekend away at a place called Highover, which is quite close to Richmond.

After arriving at various times throughout Friday afternoon and evening, your basic bulls party unfolded and was met with great excitement. There were some overseas visitors in attendance, and their presence certainly gave the weekend an air of significance. Bon-fires, music, beers, and previously untold stories of Campo at his finest (or not so finest) set the scene for a great weekend away.

Saturday morning was spent tubing down the freezing waters of the nearby river as well as attempting to master the rickety foofie slide, which I think we eventually sent into retirement. Those with wetsuits definitely had the upper hand. Cruising down the river and taking on the rapids was an unexpected highlight of the weekend. After the tubing, it was a mad rush to get to the owner’s house for some Tri-Nations rugby. We shared what must have been the biggest bag of biltong any of us had ever seen and had it not been for the one Aussie in our midst, I dare say it might have been a perfect day out. Saturday night was spent around the fire again and plenty laughs and loud music were the order of the day. It was quite apparent that everyone had had a superb time away. Well done Rich for organizing such a unique and awesome weekend away.

It’s also worth mentioning that a Bulls party is not a Bulls party without it’s one incident that takes it to the next level. And that incident had to be when Philippa’s Dad’s mate did a drunken free fall onto the bonfire. Had it not been for Porker’s cheetah-like reactionary senses, he very well may have been left there to burn for the night. It was the flames from the jacket and the smell of burning flesh that alerted Porker to the scene and once he had rolled the guy off the fire, things returned to normal.

Run Forest Run

2009-07-24T10:26:00.003Z

Myself, Tont and Campo have all joined the Westville Athletics Running Club and are regularly attending the weekly 8km time trials. A mandatory 2 beer minimum post run regime is in place and it is proving to be a very enjoyable weekly meeting. Last week Shuz came along for the run and I feel we will soon have another member on board.

Last Sunday myself, Tont, Campo, Candice, Dave Arde and Diki ran the Forest Hills 10km. It was our first official race since the start of our running campaign. The finishing times were varied but we were all very happy with our performances.

Being members of Westville, Campo and I didn't waste any time taking down the free skottle breakfast and orange juice after the race at the Westville tent. While waiting for the lucky draw we tapped into some very qualified running knowledge and experience in the form of Johan, a friend of Andy's who has completed 17 Comrades Marathons. It was all quite intimidating really. There I was feeling like I had just conquered the world and Johan is telling us that for Comrades training he does about 1,200km of running in the months building up to the race. Yoo, pretty intense.

For now it's just one step at a time and the 'Two10 Hopefuls' are easing into things nice and slowly. Keep an eye out for our next race in August.

A Very Stoked Tonto

2009-06-05T11:03:00.004Z

Last weekend, we were treated to some impressive swell along the East coast and Town was about as perfect as it gets. Myself, Veeds and Tont paddled out on Saturday morning for an enjoyable surf without too many crowds.

Then on Sunday Tont, Veeds and Shuz went down again for an even better surf. Apparently there wasn't a drop of water out of place and after looking at the pics below I am sure you will agree.

Bren also managed to find a few

Our Wedding

2009-06-02T10:40:00.029Z

A week after the bulls party and there we were, the 16th of May 2009 and time for the wedding.
Planning a wedding is no easy feat. I think it’s fair to say that the girls have the bulk of responsibility in terms of putting everything together and Cally rose to the occasion and did spectacularly. With the help of her mom (Anne) and some very supportive sisters, Cally’s vision blossomed into a reality and our wedding really couldn’t have turned out any better. Cally’s attention to detail and knack for style and elegance really shone through and all her doubts and reservations were wasted as everything turned out beautifully.

So on Saturday the 16th May all our family and friends arrived at the Kloof Methodist Church to witness Cal and I getting married, followed by the reception at Kloof Country Club. After all the planning and waiting, the wedding in a way, almost seemed like the destination, but it really is just the beginning as I feel that the 2 of us have only just begun the most enjoyable journey of our lives. It’s still kind of the same being married, but it’s also completely different, or even just being engaged for that matter, as that’s when the fun really started and we both realized that we were committing ourselves to each other. I still think back to when I proposed all those months ago (read about that here). Jeepers that was almost a dog-show of a proposal but thankfully luck was on my side.

The best part of the day was seeing Cally walk into the church. That 1st minute of the whole day is something I will never forget. It was overwhelming seeing Cal looking so beautiful and with Bundu walking her down the aisle the realization hit me that he was giving her away to me. I know it’s standard practice for the bride to be given away, but it just felt so huge to me. Anne and Bundu trust me enough to take care of their daughter from here on in and that gesture of giving her away (although a simple formality) meant a lot to me. Cally was beaming and I couldn’t have been happier than what I was in those first few moments.

Everyone told us that the day would fly by and it would all be over before we knew it, well they weren’t lying. The first time I looked at my watch was at 10:30pm and we had little over an hour left before we were scheduled to leave. Both Cally and I made the most of our precious time. We jammed hard, and tried to talk to as many people as possible who had all made an exceptional effort to be there with us. I know we didn't get round to everyone and we apologise for that, but we were both so grateful that everyone could be there.

My Bulls Party

2009-06-02T10:39:00.030Z

It’s quite strange being the Bull. I’ve attended a fair amount of Bull’s parties in recent years to know that they’re helluva good fun. A Bulls party is not your average social rendezvous with the boys, it’s more than that. You just know that the bar is going to be raised and you’re fully aware that anything can happen. And actually being the bull, you have the added anxiety of knowing that it’s ALL ABOUT YOU !!! All that attention and knowing that you’re a target, is something that is both scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I guess it all boils down to whether the guys you’ve invited are you friends or your enemies. If you didn’t know before, you should have a fair idea by the end of your Bulls party.

Mike had organized an awesome holiday house down the South Coast in Pennington. A massive house right on the beach complete with pool and huge garden. The plan was simple. Arrive Friday after work, party hard, play golf, party hard again and then get the hell out of there and run home to our respective ‘safe places’.

Groom and groomsmen

Nothing like competitive racing around the garden to get things going

Needless to say, a Bulls party is not a bulls party unless the bull makes a spectacle of himself and is bound to a strict set of laws, the breaking of which leads to harsh, but fair punishment. I think Mike’s intentions were for me to resemble a variation of a racing badger, although Pants happened to mention to Nicky that I looked more like a gay rabbit. It didn’t matter, the objective was achieved and I’m sure it was quite entertaining seeing me dressed like an idiot out on the golf course with Jimmy in toe. Jimmy by the way is the big brown bear who was basically my new best friend for the weekend. Without Jimmy, I was a dead man. No Jimmy = Shots of cane.

I feel I received a fair balance of abuse as well as care. Abuse on the Friday night was rife, and I was given very little clout when it came to deciding how much cane I should drink. Saturday night was a slightly different affair which actually resulted in me being the last one to hit the sack, compared to Friday night where I was first in bed and dreaming by 10pm.

One of the highlights had to be the surprise arrival of Kurt who decided a few days earlier that he would fly out from the UK for the wedding. This in itself was superb, but the fact that he managed to pull in for the bulls party as well was just unbelievable.

Being the bull was awesome!! It came with its benefits as well as downfalls, but the downfalls were generally hilarious, so it’s a win-win. Shot Tont for organizing a superb weekend away and thanks to all that were there for grilling me over and jolling with me on my last weekend as a single man. I had an absolute belter of a weekend !!!
Watch this space…..Campo is next !!!!!!

I love you man !!!

The cane train conductor checking for tickets

I may have had something to do with my own demise

Diki on a mission to build the bonfire

The boat races were intense

The old man teaching me a lesson

Bizzie

I know bru, tell me about it

Tuna and Veeds sharing a moment

(P.S. Wedding and honeymoon photos to follow shortly)

Shuz & Robyn's Wedding - 21.03.09

2009-03-30T12:55:00.009Z

Following on from the Bulls party, here are some snaps from Shuz and Robyn’s wedding. I’ve been to 3 weddings at Tala now, and this venue never disappoints. Props go to Andy (Pants) for really capturing the mood in these pictures, and back pats have to go out to all the animals at Tala for arriving at the watering hole at EXACTLY the right moment. Seriously, were they trained circus animals? Their timing was impeccable!!!

Myself and Cally were blown away by how striking Robyn looked when she came around the corner on her old man’s arm and Shuz was suitably impressed by the looks of it. Shuz you looked quite dashing yourself son.

There’s not much else to say, the pictures do all the talking, but I have to say that this wedding was a special one for me as it couldn’t have happened to 2 better people. Robs, Shuz, you guys are awesome together and it’s fantastic to see you guys so happy. I was honored to be your MC, so thank you for allowing me to be a part of this amazing day.

The zebra's spacing was immaculate

The Longs - Killing it !!!!

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else

Shuz's Hen's Party

2009-03-19T10:46:00.014Z

This Saturday the 21st of March Shaun and Robyn take the plunge and are getting married at Tala Game Reserve. Awesome!!! So last weekend we took Shuz to the Midlands and spent the weekend in a farm house called Hilltop, which is situated around 2kms West of Granny Mouse. Verve managed to find this little gem of a getaway which was tucked off a dirt road, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think that you were in the only establishment for miles.

Myself, Verve, Muz, Veeds, Campo, Shuz and Tont went up on Friday night and although we weren’t strong on numbers, it didn’t restrict the amount of entertainment that we managed to conjure up. Tont was particularly entertaining thanks to the evil antics of Campo’s heavy handed pouring technique when rustling up JD’s and coke. The braver of us merely stood clear while Campo took control of the bar area.

Tont on the ride of his life

Saturday morning saw us up nice and early and off to Boschoek golf course. Once the rest of the crew had arrived, Shuz was sent into the change room to put on his golf kit. We all saw SHUZ go in to the change room but you can imagine our surprise when we all saw SHARYN (Shaz to her friends) come out the change room. Oh yes, it was going to be a good day.
The general feeling I got from everyone was that the standard of golf was less than average, but the enjoyment factor out on the course came in very high. Well done though to Verve “Sergio” Webb for firing in a clinical 77.

After a few beers at the club we headed off to Gunther’s German Sausage House where we spent the afternoon drinking beer in the sun and forcing the bull to dance with himself to the delightful German songs that were spilling out into the valley. There was also talk of sending Shuz to Gunther’s basement for all eternity where he would have adopted the role of Gunther’s gimp and enjoyed a lifetime of sexual abuse. However we decided against this as our bull was providing way too much entertainment to be left behind, although we did strap a leash onto Shuz and came very close to handing him over to Gunther.
Let's go to the basement, it'll be fun, promise

After lunch we all headed back to the farm house and settled in for the evening. The customary fines meeting took place and those holding fines cards were punished appropriately. And then as it were, we allowed the wheels to fall off.
Strong sexual undertones in this picture

Worst karaoke ever

DCC - Event 6 (Port Shepstone)

2009-02-16T10:45:00.006Z

After much anticipation and a huge buildup, we visited the South Coast last weekend for the 6th event in the Dolphin Coast Classic. I’ve previously mentioned the DCC and what it’s all about over here. Well at long last, the four of us have managed to be in the same country at the same time and so we didn’t waste any time in getting the DCC off the ground.

We decided to stay at Mantis and Moon, which is a backpacker’s in Hibberdene, and really is one of the South Coast’s little gems. The place is clean, has great facilities, and is close to the beach. There was no shortage of activity with the amount of pool, darts, table tennis and foozball we played. There is also a swimming pool and a little Jacuzzi tucked in among the jungle-like fauna. They have a great bar area and music plays all day long. Check out their website here

Our golf course of choice was Port Shepstone and it delivered the goods. It was in superb condition and the weather was close to 30 degrees, no clouds invited. We tee’d off at 8am and the golf was less than inspiring, but there were moments of brilliance every now and then. The problem for both teams was that none of us could build on the small advantages that we constantly exchanged with one another. Mike and I were 2 up on the front 9 at some point but we managed to throw it away and walked in at the halfway house all square.
Not ideal

The second 9 saw both teams only ever being 1 up at the most. Shuz and Verve took the early lead and Tont and I pulled one back to go all square. I had a disastrous 3 putt on the 13th which would have put us in the lead. Verve and Shuz jumped on our lack of confidence in the next par 3 and went 1 up again. The very next hole Tont and I pulled one back to go all square once again. That’s how it stayed until the 18the tee box.

Tont and Shuz didn’t have anything to offer on the last hole and once Verve and I were safely on the green for equal shots, a halve (tie) for the game was certainly on the cards. Verve had an absolute shocker of a first putt and left himself a good distance from the hole. But true to form, he sank the putt and the game was halved.

A great challenge on the course and although no one walks away with their names on the trophy, the result almost seemed apt after having waited so long to play the DCC again. The golf and the entire weekend for that matter was such good quality that to have any losers walking away wouldn’t have seemed fair.

Mike bore the brunt of the fine's meeting

At times he was openly showing a lot of concern

But he seemed to get over himself

And take it like a man

Christmas & New Year's 2008

2009-02-04T10:26:00.011Z

It's a little late and out-dated, what with us being in the 2nd month of 2009 already, but I thought I'd stick up a couple of photos from the festive season.

The bulk of my holiday was spent with Team Spohl (Sparks and Pohl) at the farm where we lived the life of sloths by relaxing to the max and generally only moved when entirely neccessary. Actually that really only applied to a couple of us, actually mostly just me, because just about everyone went on daily walks and rides ranging from a modest 2kms to a full blown 6kms at times. Personally I wasn't sure what we had all worked so hard during the year for, if we were going to spend our holiday trying to keep fit.

Christmas was mellow and was definitely more focused on the kids, something that is entirely understandable and yet hard to accept all at the same time. Luckily Bronny busted out her Christmas stockings again this year with Cal receiving her debut. The Spohls were completely blown away and all agreed that stockings were the way of the future.

On the 30th December the Spohls kindly vacated the premises in search of their own New Year's party, while the majority of our social circle arrived for a few days of chillaxing. New year itself was an awesome evening spent with great friends and the days were spent reading, fishing, playing board games and cricket, swimming, etc, etc......

Christmas Eve

Prawns and ribs for dinner - No stuffing around

Christmas morning

James waiting patiently for Uncle Baj to open his present, something that Uncle Baj was having an incredibly difficult time doing

James and David showing a keen interest in the good stuff

2 of the many fish we caught and ate

Christmas Day - Roast Lamb on the spit

Tight lines

Nix and Cal doing an impressive job de-boning and filleting

Moses Mabhida Stadium

2008-12-09T10:58:00.006Z

While Howie and I were on the roof of my flat the other day (having a braai with sun downers), I took the opportunity to take this photo of the new Durban stadium that is currently being built. It's coming along nicely, and if you look at the artist's impression below, it definitely seems like it's going to be quite an impressive structure.

(The part about the braai was a lie, we were fixing the satellite dish)

Zinkwazi - Ballies Weekend Away

2008-12-03T14:25:00.005Z

Muz you look different in this photo

This last weekend saw the official start to Summer. It’s now already the 3rd December, so Summer really should be in full swing, but until this weekend, I don’t think any of us really felt that this time of year was any different to any other. Throw in a coastal cottage, swimming pool, a view of the sea and daytime beers and your perspective suddenly changes.

It was Mike and Jane’s turn to organize a weekend away and they settled on Zinkwazi up the North Coast. The house we stayed in was modest yet effective. Nothing fancy about it, but capable of sleeping up to 14, TV, hi-fi and awesome bar area included, within a minute’s walk to the beach and of course, the star of the party, the salt water pool in the garden.

Saturday was spent literally all day in or around the pool. Activities included a bit of garden cricket using the metal equivalent of a pool cue for a cricket bat, and some garden footie with Mike and I taking on Verve and Muz. The footie ended in a 10-10 draw after I managed to boot the ball over the fence (Have it !!!) and was evidently stolen while I recovered in the pool for a few minutes. Based on the amount of uncontrollable wheezing and panting I was pumping out, recovery time was essential, but also quite concerning considering we were playing on 4m X 3m pitch.

Shot for a superb weekend chaps. It was good to get everyone together especially Muz, Lol and the G-Man.

Soccer balls easily stolen from this area

Summer lovin'

The Pitch - Looks smaller than it really is

Mo-Vember

2008-12-03T10:52:00.004Z

The month formerly known as November has come and gone and the mustangs have been expelled until next year. Thanks to Biscuit and Kath for donating cash to CANSA.

The Ultimate Stand-Off

2008-12-02T11:07:00.004Z

Not sure how many of you saw this - a couple of weeks ago the Kiwi's took on Wales at Cardiff. The usual pre-match Haka unfolded but it ended with one hell of a confrontation with the Welsh refusing to be intimidated by the Kiwi's and an entertaining stand-off ensued which eventually ended only once the ref had a word with both captains. Brilliant stuff !!!!

No Lite Beer Poker League

2008-12-01T10:52:00.008Z

I’ve never made mention of the fact that a handful of us play a monthly game of poker and have been doing so for a while now. The ‘No Lite Beer Poker League’ kicked off sometime in the first half of the year.

The inaugural event was at Mike’s house and it was a corker. Besides the fact that we had a good turnout, Mike ensured there was some additional entertainment in the form of a very inebriated, single woman neighbor from downstairs who made a surprise appearance and clung to the outskirts of our poker table like a bad rash. She was clearly in the market for a bit of man-love, but everyone’s reluctance to focus on her rather than the poker, resulted in the coining of the word ‘RIDIC’ which she was throwing around with wreckless abandon in her judgment of us all. That, along with her abuse of Mikey Hammerson that he must be gay because he wasn’t giving her the time of day, made for some entertaining action.

By the end of the evening, amongst accusations that one of us had stolen her handbag (what handbag??), our special guest had a severe case of memory loss and had absolutely no idea where she was and began to panic. She was abruptly escourted downstairs to her flat and sent straight to bed.

Mike dominated the ’08 season from the start and his early lead stretched further and further as each event went by. At the final year end ‘Christmas Special’, Steve Tuna had an outside chance of taking gold, but this never came to pass. Mike was overall winner and results on the night saw Diki Long take home 1st prize with Verve and myself following in 2nd and 3rd respectively.

Rules of the Christmas Special were that you had to wear a poker hat of some sort along with a pair of sunnies to create a party vibe. The vibe was duly achieved and it turned out to be a great event to end the season. With a bit of luck the ’09 season won’t be such a one horse race and with the No Lite Beer Poker League officially established I think there are a lot of guys keen to make some high finishes next year.

I invite okes into my home and this is what I get, bring your own chairs next time

Friday Submission # 2

2008-11-14T10:46:00.002Z

A Department of Water Resources representative, Philemon, stops at a Free State farm and talks with old farmer Koos.

He tells Koos, "I need to inspect your farm for the water allocation."

Koos says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

Philemon says, "Meneer, I have the full authority of the ANC Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

Koos nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter Koos hears loud screams and spies Philemon running for his life followed close behind by the farmer's bull, gaining with every step.

Philemon is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

"Your card! Show him your card!

Did Anyone Order Some Burgers?

2008-11-12T10:17:00.001Z

Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing

2008-11-11T10:48:00.008Z

In 1914 Sir Ernest Shackleton attempted to cross the continent of the Antarctic with 27 other men. I won't spoil it by letting you know that they didn't make it, the back of the book openly informs us of this. This story is not about crossing the Antarctic, it's about the survival of 28 men who, quite honestly, should have all perished on more than one occassion during their time spent in the ridiculously harsh conditions they endured.

Alfred Lansing tells the tale, which is totally non-fiction, in such a manner that huge adversities and mammoth obstacles are described in an almost monotone fashion. If he were to use the biggest and toughest words to describe each new event that threatened the crewmen's lives, then by page 30 all available adjectives would have been exhausted. Instead, the story is told in a simple factual manner, but you often find yourself stopping mid-sentence to take a moment to digest what you have just read, and on numerous occassions I found it mind-boggling that at the end of all this everyone makes it out alive.

This book takes leadership and a will to survive to a whole new level, the likes of which I will hopefully never experience in my lifetime. Read this book, it's inspiring.

Back in Time - The Stiles

2008-11-05T10:49:00.005Z

When I was in Ireland the bulk of my time was spent residing at 101 The Stiles Road, which was in Clontarf, Dublin. The house itself was affectionately referred to as ‘The Stiles’. Living at the Stiles was nothing short of epic and some incredible times were had in this house. Complete with garden big enough to host a one day festival, The Stiles boasted 5 bedrooms, a lounge, dining room / kitchen, 1 bathroom (it’s only shortfall) and a garden shed big enough to host Shed Parties of up to 6.

At its peak, the Stiles had 9 people living in it. Primary residents included myself, Bren O’Connor, Laura Wilson, Marc Barnes, Jaco Eksteen, Phil Taylor (IRE), Anthony King, William George, and Tammy Leigh. Needless to say it felt full inside the Stiles’ belly, but with the sacrifice of personal space came the benefit of never ending fun. Bren and I on more than one occasion had the discussion where we both agreed that we used to get physically excited on the walk up the street to the Stiles after work, and we had to make a conscious effort to not run. You just never knew what you might find when you opened that front door. More often than not, you were greeted by the scent of lager and the sound of music coupled with laughter, and those butterflies you had in your stomach would be justified, because you knew there was something good happening inside.

Weekends were another story and can be summed up very aptly by one of our neighbours in a formal letter of complaint……..

”Every Friday, once the beer crates arrive and the music turns on, we know we have 48 hours of complete and utter chaos ahead of us, and peace and quiet with our children in the garden is a guaranteed non-event”

We weren’t proud of neglecting our neighbourly relations but it was difficult to find a sense of responsibility amongst all the madness. Memories I hope I never forget were being made every single weekend, and some of the parties we had in that house will never be reproduced in my lifetime. Those who lived and partied at the Stiles will know what I’m talking about and that house, along with the legends who lived there will never be forgotten.

Here are a handful of the memories that were made…..

Summer garden activities

Kino bought this 6kg pack of tile adhesive thinking he had bought charcoal for a braai

General chaos

The Colonel and Howie getting stuck in

Skate-boarding injury

A real life leprachaun

Back in Time - Dolphin Coast Classic

2008-10-21T10:41:00.013Z

Contrary to popular belief the Ryder Cup is in fact NOT the most coveted and prestigious match play structured golf competition in the world.....it is in fact The Dolphin Coast Classic played right here in KZN. Participation is by invite only and there have only ever been 4 golfers to have had the honour of taking part, plus one very special caddy.

Over the years, myself and Tont have squared up against Verve and Shuz in some titanic battles on courses such as Princes Grant, Zimbali, Southbroom, Mount Edgecombe 2, and Selbourne. The Dolphin Coast Classic is an awesome event and is not an every day occurrence. With all of us venturing in different directions over the past few years it has been a rare bit of luck that all 4 of us have been in the same country at the same time and so it's become more and more difficult to stage the Classic. However, myself, Tont and Verve are all currently living in South Africa and Shuz is set to arrive back in the country on the 10th of December after a stint of travelling around South America, which is the culmination of a good few years based in the UK with fiance' Robyn. So we are set for another clash in the coming months and it's going to be nothing short of mammoth. At time of going to print Shuz and Verve hold a marginal lead of 3 victories to 2.

Anyway, enough rambling, this 'Back in Time' post takes us to pre-2002, where the Dolphin Coast Classic was hosted at Zimbali Country Club along the North Coast. Although there isn't a single photo of the actual golf that was played, these pictures of us at the after party following the standard fines meeting, pretty much sums up the reason why this event is held in the first place.....aaaaaahhhh....good times.

Back in Time - Snow Boarding Trips

2008-10-08T10:53:00.004Z

On a recent trip to my bedroom cupboard, in search of a pair of slops, I uncovered an old bag full of old developed photos. Some of them were taken during this new, so called "digital era" but the bulk of them are old school........captured using film on a dodgy old analogue camera. Either way, they're getting no exposure stuffed inside a bag in a shoe cupboard (did you see what I did there......with the 'exposure' thing) so I've started going through them and thought I'd stick some of the good ones up here. I've got a pile of them to go through so keep coming back over the next couple of weeks, because there's a very good chance that a lot of you will feature.

First up in the 'Back in Time Chronicles' are 2 snow boarding trips I did while overseas. This first series of shots are from Pas de la Casa in Andorra. In total, from South Africa, Ireland, and the UK we pulled a crew of around 38 guys and girls together. Needless to say it was a BIG week on the slopes.

Nicky with a firm grip on Brendan's 'nana

The second trip was to Passo Tonale in Italy. This time round it was only 6 of us but was possibly one of the most enjoyable, hilarious trips I've done.

Sissies Need Not Apply

2008-09-29T07:09:00.007Z

These pics were taken last week when some serious swell arrived on Durban's shores. The swell arrived on Sunday and grew steadily, lasting 3 days. Apparently Monday morning was out of control making paddling out near impossible. I was on North Beach Pier Tuesday morning, and the cleaner conditions allowed Durban's cowboys to get stuck in. 2kms out to sea, the tow in surfers were also getting some bombs.

Click here for some more action

Friday Submission # 1

2008-09-26T12:40:00.004Z

Winter in Spring

2008-09-26T09:47:00.004Z

Global warming comes to mind when I look at this picture. This was taken last weekend, on or around the 20th September. Bearing in mind that Spring officially kicked off 3 weeks prior, it seems strange to see this type of landscape in Mooi River KZN.

This is the view coming down the dirt road on the way to Cally's parents cottage at the dam. There are 4 house in the photo. The first one is still being built. The second one belongs to Cally's folks, and the third one is the cottage Cally and I went to in search of bicarb not so long ago. I'm glad we didn't have weather like this when I dropped to one knee, would have been a bit chills.

Engagement Party

2008-09-23T14:32:00.009Z

Some pics from our Engagement Party we had at Mike and Kath's house. It started going pear shaped towards the end.....

Sisters, sisters and more sisters

The standard Sparks photo at most major family functions

Fake microphones everywhere

The 'Running Man'

Engaged - 30.08.08

2008-09-11T06:03:00.007Z

On the 30th August I took the plunge and dropped to one knee. I’m sure those husbands and husbands to be will agree that it is one of the most stressful things to ever have to do. Not because you’re wondering whether she’ll say yes or no, but because you just don’t want to stuff it up. Anyway, Cal tells me that it was the perfect proposal and the fact that her entire family was there is what made it so special. They’re quite a tight crew the Sparks are, and generally nothing goes down without everyone either knowing about it first, or having a team discussion/gathering on the situation….so needless to say, taking Cal on a romantic weekend away for 2 and doing the deed in the grassy hills of the Drakensberg wasn’t an option. It only would have led to us immediately vacating the premises and high-tailing it back to Durban so that everyone could participate in the celebrations.

I was planning on proposing near October but had to get Cally’s parents’ (Anne and Bundu’s) permission early because Bundu was off to the DRC at the end of last week for potentially another 2 months. After I had asked permission I was sipping my beer and casually informing Anne of my proposal plan to which she replied in a somewhat disappointed tone…

”Oh, I thought you were going to ask Cally this weekend because we’re all going to be at the farm and that’s exactly what she would love”

To which I replied in a somewhat scattered tone …

“WOW, you reckon I go straight ahead, this weekend? Not wait until October?”

The realization that I now had 5 days to mentally prepare for this hit me with a BANG and nausea set in shortly afterwards.

Once at the dam, Anne cunningly fabricated a story which resulted in Cally and I having to pop over to the cottage next door to borrow some bicarb for a cake that Anne was baking. The cottage was, of course, empty and locked up. Cally then buggered up what seemed to be a water-tight operation, by grabbing her 2 year old nephew and the maid’s son to come along for a ride on the back of the bakkie. Awesome!!!

I then drove the 200m stretch with the ring in my pocket frantically trying to figure out how I was going to pop the question while simultaneously ensuring that these 2 kids wouldn’t be running around the garden playing silly buggers thereby ruining all hope of any romantic flair that I had hoped to achieve. Fate was on my side though and both kids opted to wait in the bakkie while Cally ran to the house to get the bicarb. I then snuck after her and caught her off-guard trying to yank open all the locked doors, and took her by the hand and led her into the garden. As I dropped to my knee, her confused look quickly turned to tears and emotion as she realized what was happening. We were both totally blown away at just how emotional it all was, and even though we both knew it was coming, nothing prepared us for the euphoria we experienced in those few minutes after she had said yes.

The rest of the weekend was a blur and we celebrated with Cally’s family as well as mine who joined us on Sunday morning for a champagne breakfast. What a weekend !!! An absolute gem !!!!

SA 15 - AUS 27

2008-08-25T10:39:00.004Z

There's nothing worth mentioning about South Africa's performance against Australia on the weekend, other than......Imagine how upset the owners of these 2 vehicles must have been.

Beijing 2008

2008-08-22T11:37:00.008Z

After all the anticipation and waiting, the Beijing Olympics of 2008 are already over. 2 weeks have flown by incredibly quickly and based on the kind of performances we’ve been treated to I only wish that the Olympics were a 4 week affair. Not only did China deliver the most impressive Opening Ceremony in all Olympic history, they also put on a spectacular show in terms of their infrastructure and facilities. The Bird’s Nest Stadium and Cube Swimming Arena were like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Some of China’s antics have definitely been questionable like hoisting that cute little girl in the air at the Opening Ceremony while she sang beautifully, only for us to realize afterwards that she was miming and that the true hero (who was too ugly for a public appearance) was singing backstage into a microphone, or the fact that they were pumping volunteers into some of the venues under strict instruction to cheer and shout in order to create a fake, yet vibrant atmosphere, to give the impression that these sports were being well supported.

Other than these dodgy Chinese marketing ploys, the Games themselves delivered some inspiring performances. Michael Phelps became the world leader in the number of gold medals held by anyone, 14 in total, 8 of those won in Beijing, and Usain Bolt won both the 100m and 200m in world record time, previously achieved by Carl Lewis 24 years ago. Bolt’s apparent ease at demolishing the field in both races was nothing short of incredible and one almost suspects him to surely test positive for doping.

Here’s a collection of my best photos over the last 2 weeks…..

Does Size Count? Not Sure, But it Looks More Impressive

2008-08-21T07:18:00.005Z

The other day Cally created the world’s biggest Flamby. It came close to actual human head size. Unlike fruit, which generally lose their sweetness and appeal the bigger they get, Flamby’s stay consistently tasty. This one was no exception.

Tont & Badger Turn 30

2008-08-12T13:48:00.011Z

The last time Mike and I had a joint birthday party was for our sixteenth’s. At that time, we were pimple faced, single, and our voices were breaking mid-sentence on a regular basis…..so who said the 30’s were going to be rubbish?? The theme for the event was ‘SHEBEEN’. For the international readers, a Shebeen is an informal bar / meeting place where, traditionally, the black citizens of South Africa meet for an evening of socializing and heavy drinking. It seemed like an apt theme to see in our 30’s. The Shebeen setup isn’t fancy and you’ll often find that chairs and tables are makeshift structures made out of anything you can get your hands on. The cheaper the better, so beers are bought by 750ml quart bottles and mixes are optional. Everyone was told to dress the part and there were prizes for best dressed.

Before the main event, which kicked off at 2pm, the men decided to hit Toti Golf Course for a cheeky round before the festivities began. The wind was howling but surprisingly some good scores were posted. R30 in the hat and the pot was split into 3 positions.

1st - Muz 84 off 14 for 37 points
2nd - Baj 84 off 13 for 35 points
3rd - Doug 102 off 30 for 35 points (Counted out losing 2-0 in a ching off)

After a shower, a couple of beers and the issue of some fines, everyone made their way up to Assagay. What ensued was an enjoyable afternoon and evening of rugby, music, drinking, laughter, hack and Beer-Pong (a combined variation of drinking and Ping-Pong, which took place in the Olympic Tent which also happened to double up as Nixwele Xolani’s Hair Salon)

The bonfire in the evening created an exceptionally festive atmosphere and the wooden pallets that Jerry procured burned helluva well. There was unanimous agreement that the lack of creosote coating was a great improvement from my 29th birthday last year.

Highlights from the evening included Veeds bringing out the guns and tearing pallets apart like a rabie-infested dingo attacking a pen full of chickens, and witnessing Tont attempting to kick down some firewood, only for him to realize that on impact 2 stray nails had infiltrated the sole of his shoe and were now embedded in his foot.

I think it’s fair to say that everyone had a superb time and I know that Mike and I definitely did. Thanks to everyone who pitched in to help with food and decorations and thanks to the ballies for allowing yet another party to unleash itself on your humble abode.

No one passed out and no trees were pulled down during the party so we’re definitely maturing.

The Days in the Lives of Tofo Mountain

2008-07-01T11:40:00.020Z

On the 14th of June myself, Cally, Mike, Jane, Greg, Courts and Marc departed for Tofo Point, Mozambique on our first ever surf trip. Armed with 10 boards we were anticipating epic conditions for 5 straight days. Unfortunately the conditions didn't work in our favour and we were only rewarded with one cooking day of surf. Nevertheless, the trip was a success but I'm not going to waste my time telling you all about it.....because Cally kept a journal of the entire trip which I've copied below for you to read. Can everyone please give a warm welcome to.........

CAL'S CORNER

Saturday 14 June

Alarm bells went off at 3am and less than an hour later the bakkie was packed to its max, we had fetched Mike, Jane and Greg and we were heading out of the bright lights with the Beach Boys’ “Surfing Safari” blasting in our ears. We pulled into the Engen/Wimpy in Mkuzi at 7am where we met up with Marc and Courts. The boys spent a good 15 minutes ogling the stack of surfboards in the bin of Marc’s bakkie while the girls got busy putting the breakfast orders through. With full tummys we were back on the road and making our way to the Swazi and Mozambique borders. The border posts were fairly uneventful, just a lot of forms to fill out, long queues and blank looking officials.
We reached the hustle and bustle of Maputo around lunch time and immediately set out on a mission to find a place to eat. Maputo is an absolute maze with hundreds of one ways and half the roads blockaded. We finally got some clear directions and in our excitement to locate the restaurant we lost Marc and Courts who were trailing behind us. Thank goodness for the walky talkies we had with us! Steve managed to direct them to us but their faces were like thunder. Once we had got to the restaurant and we had sunk our first drinks and ordered Prego rolls all round everyone calmed down and we took in the beauty of the bay and all agreed that it finally felt like we were on holiday.

After lunch we slowly meandered our way to Casa Lisa which was about an hour out of Maputo. We got there in time to catch the end of the Springbok/Wales game and enjoyed a drink at the bar. Our rooms at Casa Lisa were pretty simple but after a long day's driving a hot shower and a bed was all we needed. Bar the thousands of bats that infested our thatched roofs which forced me to spend the entire evening with a hood over my head, it was very comfortable. We were offered dinner which was per-peri chicken and all signed up. There were plenty of laughs around the table that evening and it really set the tone for the rest the holiday.
Sunday 15 June

We were up at 6am and staring at a 7 hour long journey to Tofo. It was a long drive dodging pot holes and only stopping to fill up with petrol or to have a quick wee but we finally made it. All the boys had been talking about for the past two days was the surfing conditions and the wind direction and blah blah blah and as we rounded the corner and got our fist sight of the ocean we saw clear, blue, FLAT water. There was a deathly silence, then a lot of profanity, then a decision to drink through bit. Our house was a little basic but had all the essentials. The most essential thing being, Costello, who washed our dishes, made our beds, cleaned our prawns but most importantly gave us the go ahead on what seafood was fresh and what was not by simply smiling, nodding his head and saying “Yes, good, good”. We took what he said as gospel! We kind of figured that seeing as how he was the one who was going be cleaning the bathrooms he would be the last person who would want us to get sick. Marc and Courts drew the short straw and had Greg share a room with them while Steve and I had the room leading onto the lounge with a sarong hung up as a door! Bags were unpacked and surfboards off loaded as we slowly settled into our home. We had our first braai in “the pit” that evening and it wasn’t long before we were all in bed.

Monday 16 June

The guys went out for their first surf in less than desirable conditions while the girls soaked up the sun on the beach. Marc claimed the first injury of the holiday by being stung by blue bottles. Courts offered to wee on him but he decided he’d rather just go for a lie down instead. Greg was our next victim when he took a sting to the lip while snorkelling. The boys were in pretty low spirits after what Steve would claim was one of his most average surfs so we decided to hit the town for lunch to cheer them up. After a wander around the market promising all the vendors we’d be back the next day to make our purchases we made our way to a restaurant called “Waterworks”. We seriously chilled out there and enjoyed our lunch. Afterwards we went for a walk along Tofo’s main beach and ended up at Casa Barry for yet another beer for the guys and a G&T for the girls. One last bit of haggling at the market for fish and prawns and we were on our way home. The girls took to their beds immediately for a little afternoon nap while the boys tackled up and headed off for a bit of fishing. Another unsuccessful venture for the boys but we had prawns and calamari to look forward to that night. Greg and Mike stepped up as our chefs for the evening and produced the most delicious meal. We were all a little hesitant at first, even after Costello had given us the “A OK”, but after one taste none of us held back. After dinner we decided to play “Balderdash”. Mike was the first “dasher” and tried to explain to us how the game worked. Most of us switched off half way through the rules but A-Class student Greg said he was up to speed and to please continue. The rest of us waited for the practice round. We all picked it up pretty quickly and before long there was absolute hysterics. Another awesome day had by all!

Tuesday 17 June

Mark and Greg set out early in the bakkie to go look for better surf along the beach only to return, on foot, to say that the bakkie was stuck. Steve and Mike’s surf was put on hold as they all headed off to “rescue” Marc’s bakkie. With the help of a 4X4 and about 20 locals the boys managed to get the bakkie out and came scuttling back with their tails between their legs. That afternoon Steve, Marc, Courts and I decided to do a little retail therapy. Firstly, we went to the market and found a few awesome crays, then we set off for Inhambane. Not much retail therapy there unless you count buying charcoal and rolls as therapeutic. Afternoon snoozes were on the cards as we all agreed that we were going to try make it past 9am before we collapsed into bed. The boys got busy making the braai in the evening as we all looked forward to crays and a fish that Costello had recommended we buy. Mike was a little concerned at this point of our holiday that the boys street cred with the girls was at an all time low, what with the failed surfing, snorkelling, fishing and 4X4'ing but they redeemed themselves with their Jamie Oliver cooking skills. Yummy dinner!!! Their redemption however was short lived. Courts brought out her “Pig Out” game and social drinking was taken to a new level. Within 10minutes we were oinking like pigs, rolling on the floor, wearing each others clothes and Mike and Greg even gave us a little “Tofo Mountain” skit – Hilarious! By 2am we were quite proud of ourselves for making it into the wee hours of the morning and started to wind down for bed. Well, that’s what I thought until I heard a commotion outside and Steve came looking for the medical kit. Apparently bush diving into a thorn bush seemed like a good idea! Courts and I were out with our kits and stern faces until Greg started calling Steve, who was sitting there with bandage strapped around his head, Vaal Baatman. Then the giggles really started. By 3am the boys had most of the thorns pulled out of their bodies, were dettolled into oblivion, strapped up and sent straight to bed.

Wednesday 18 June

We had hardly put the medical kits away when we had to haul them out again after the boys returned from an early morning surf with cuts and scrapes or as in Greg’s case “lacerations” all over them. With the boys feeling a little battered and bruised and not to mention hung-over we decided one of VD’s lie downs was necessary. Feeling marginally better after waking, Courts and I set off for a surf lesson with Marc and Steve at Tofo’s main beach. I was exhausted within 5 minutes and have a totally new found respect for the art of surfing. Mike, Jane and Greg came and joined us and while we all sat on the beach chilling Greg ran up and down the beach throwing a ball for the pack of dogs he had managed to acquire. He was aptly referred to as “the dog whisperer” from then on. That evening we all shooshed up and went to Dino’s for dinner. We sat for well over an hour waiting for our food while the resident puppy proceeded to vomit not once, not twice but several times all over the floor. We spent the rest of the evening with our feet up on our chairs for fear of being vomited on. Our food finally arrived, about the same time as the CD started to repeat itself, and let’s just say thank goodness we were all starving or it might have gone untouched. A very disappointing meal – Steve likened it to a truly crap day on the golf course - high expectation, no result! There was no lingering after dinner as we all shot home and consoled ourselves with tea and choc chip brownies before hitting the sack.

Thursday 19 June

We woke up to a truly miserable day. Grey clouds, rainy and extremely windy. True to form, Jane aka "Polly" was at the stove putting the kettle on and Rummykub was hauled out as we had a lazy morning indoors. Once boredom had set in we decided to take a drive to Barra Lodge. What an awesome place! Courts and I left armed with price lists and vowing that we would be back. On the way home we stopped every few hundred metres to hand out sweets to the local children who came running towards us shouting “sweet sweet”. However when we tried to take a quick photo of them they turned and ran away shrieking. Their toothless smiles were priceless and it will definitely go down in my books as my most special moment of the holiday. A little more haggling for prawns at the market was necessary before we went home. We thought better to have our final night of seafood tonight and not on our last night as no one relished the idea of an 11 hour long journey with seafood poisoning. The Van Der Hugo’s, Steve & I decided to treat ourselves to some sushi at Casa Barry for lunch. It was surprisingly really, really good. Once we had had a good hit of wasabi we made our way home, chilled with a bit more Rummikub, then started preparing for our Seafood Feast. With the lack of any decent surf or even the ability to just lie out in the sun and soak up the rays the focus of the day was definitely on food. We had another great meal that evening and it wasn’t long before we were all in bed, hoping to get a good night’s sleep for the much anticipated good waves the following day.

Friday 20 June

FINALLY, we woke up to bright, clear skies, no wind and awesome waves! There was panic in the camp as the guys threw on their baggies, slapped on their sun cream, tried to make decisions on which boards would be best (they had 100 to choose from) and then… a lull, while they all took a moment to survey the scene and contemplate their best way of getting out there, do they paddle out, do they jump from the rocks and risk damaging their boards and not to mention their bones… decisions, decisions… and then off they dashed! They spent all morning out there, only coming in when hunger and thirst got the better of them and then they were off again. We finally had some happy faces and a few words like “frikken awesome” and “insane” went flying around. That afternoon as the sun was going down we took a walk to the point and had a few sundowners while we reminisced on the holiday. It was a pretty unanimous decision amongst the boys that the surf today was their absolute high of the holiday. The Dino’s Café experience came up as a low for most of us but Steve said his low was without a doubt when he was battling to get back out to surf after he had caught a “frikken awesome” wave and had thought that it was the end of his surfing for the day. He got his high though when after much flailing and perseverance he made it out again. Well done baby! We had one last braai in “the pit” – enjoyed some zulu sushi as we were staying away from seafood and all sat back, so chilled, so content, taking pleasure in our last night in Mozambique.

Saturday 21 June

We had an early start, packing up our things, loading the surfboards and then taking one last moment to sit and take in the beautiful view we had become so used to.Having resumed our normal positions in the car we were on our way. The girls had diligently made rolls for lunch but by 9am they had been flattened so by the time we reached Maputo we were ravenous. We had spied a KFC (or as the locals like to call it KFeeeCeee) when we were LOST in Maputo a week ago so we headed back in, in an attempt to find it. It took 5 mins to make a wrong turn into a one way. As luck would have it Marc and Courts were stopped by the police while we narrowly escaped. They managed to beg and plead their way out of a fine. Not 2 minutes later we were stopped by the same police in the exact same roadblock and they wanted to check our documents. We had had enough run ins with the law for one day and decided to give KFeeeCee a miss and just head to the border. We stopped at a petrol station on the outskirts of Maputo and had to settle on Provita’s and cheese for lunch. I kid you not, I had just munched my way through my last dry Provita, when we came across a KFC. Can you believe it?! We couldn’t! So although we were all full by now, we went inside anyway and had a good whiff just to make ourselves feel better. Damn that Maputo! We got to Swaziland at 5ish and all quickly jumped in the showers at the B&B before making our way to the Siteki Hotel for a good, square, much needed meal. After stuffing ourselves and having one last laugh around the table we went back to the B&B, said our good nights and fell into bed.

Sunday 22 June

The final leg of our journey. One last border post to get through and a quick bite to eat at the old Wimpy in Mkuzi and finally HOME SWEET HOME. Another long day driving but by that afternoon we were all home safe and sound. Bags unpacked, washing machines going, catching up on TV, visiting family and already the days on Tofo Beach seemed like a lifetime ago. But the memories are etched into our minds forever….

Verve's 30th....First to Fall

2008-06-04T11:40:00.006Z

It took some time to get this up but back on the 11th of May Greg turned 30 and to celebrate he invited us all to the Prawn Shack, which is situated at a fantastic venue almost on the beach up the North Coast past Zinkwazi. The order of the day was eat, drink, and be merry. I reckon there must have been in the region of 30 guys and gals there which lay testament to the popular guy that Verve is.

I was a Prawn Shack virgin so didn't really know what to expect. Cally had told me that it was a very rustic setup and that it was super chilled and is an absolute blast of a place to frequent for a weekend getaway. Most of the well wishers ended up staying over for the night and once you've told 30 hooligans that they don’t have to drive anywhere, things generally get out of hand and people start doing strange things. Marc (VD) for example took it upon himself to set a new Prawn Shack record of how many live shrimps could be eaten in one afternoon/evening. We lost count after 40.

VD's mates

The way it works is you start eating at around midday and there are several small courses that are prepared on site and presented to you in a buffet type style. After each meal, you generally sit around, chat, take in the view and move between the eating area and bar area. These mini meals are truly awesome and there is something for everyone. From small prawn bunny chows to pasta to biscuits and cheese to my personal favourite…..”Zulu Sushi”, you really won’t go hungry. This carries on until about 5 in the afternoon after which it’s a free for all and you can generally just have a party. Which of course we did.

After spending some quality time at the bar we ended up down in the boma area where Cal, Candice and Veeds had successfully ignited a raging fire. From there it was music, dancing and drinking into the early hours.

Verve, great idea boet. I think everyone had a superb time and judging by some of these photos I’d say that you were going balls to the wall and having a pretty festive time yourself. Hmmmm…how does one top a 30th like this one…..I reckon I’m going to fly Chris Rock in to do a personal show.

Classic Blue Steel

House Warming

2008-06-03T11:18:00.011Z

I never thought I’d believe it but somehow it IS possible to host a party of 32 guests inside 78 sqm’s. It definitely helped that we had an outside area in the form of the communal corridors but it’s not something I’m sure we could get away with on a regular basis.

Anyway I’m glad we at least did it once. I had a thoroughly enjoyable time and so did Cal. It was great to see such a big turn out and we both really appreciate you all coming round to see our flat. Thanks also for the gifts, we really didn’t expect anything and it’s really appreciated.

I’m happy to report that Stanley the goldfish is doing very well. After what seemed like a very dire situation on the night, he has made a full recovery. There were some concerns from a few of you, so I thought I’d mention that he is doing fine. Cal “Googled” “Goldfish” on Monday morning and I’m not sure if you know this, but goldfish actually take about 2 weeks to become familiar with a new environment and contrary to popular belief, they actually have a memory of around 3 months. So anyway he’s settling in and swims around quite enthusiastically when we get home in the evenings.

Here are some pics from the evening.

Seriously, When Will SA Rugby Ever Grow Up?

2008-03-12T11:10:00.005Z

For anyone who has read Jake White's autobiography you will understand the pressure and frustration that the oke went through on the road to success in 2007 when he coached the Boks to victory at the Rugby World Cup in France. He goes into detail about all the hurdles, all the red tape, and the justification he had to continually regurgitate while trying his utmost to do his job properly and ethically.

Jake's era is over now and Peter de Villiers is the new Bok Coach...or is he? Turns out his contract hasn't actually been signed yet and can you guess what the hold up is...yup you're right...SARU don't want to give the head coach the final say on team selections. Why oh why do we have to go through this all over again? Honestly why would you want to coach a team and have a vision of seeing where you want it to go and then be told that...

"Sorry Pete, but we would prefer it if you chose this team....oh ja, and you have to make sure that they win hey, otherwise we can't pay you your incentives because you haven't hit your KPI's"

Jeez I know I wouldn't want to work in an environment like that.....read this and feel the pressure rising....

RUGBY Contract row 'suspicious'

Wed, 12 Mar 2008

Springbok coach Peter de Villiers' agent, Rian Oberholzer, is very "suspicious" about the real motives behind the ongoing contractual dispute and resistance from South African Rugby Union (Saru) and SA Rugby (Pty) Ltd board members.

De Villiers, who was 'appointed' as Bok coach with great fanfare in January, has been at odds with Saru and SA Rugby (the commercial arm of Saru) over his contract for the past two months.

At the heart of the dispute — according to Oberholzer, himself a former Saru CEO — is the resistance from SA Rugby/Saru to allow De Villiers to have the final say on Springbok team selections.

After initially agreeing to allow De Villiers to have the final say, the board of SA Rugby decided at a meeting on Monday that granting De Villiers the last word on selection was "unconstitutional".

"This is a big problem," Oberholzer told this website, asking why there is this sudden change of heart.

He pointed out that the "constitutional issue" was not raised in January when they first started negotiations and wants to know why it only surfaced now two months later.

"We view this with the utmost suspicion. This clause (that the selectors and De Villiers must select the side) was not enforced with any of his (De Villiers's) predecessors — Jake White, Rudolf Straeuli, Harry Viljoen, Nick Mallett or André Markgraaff.

"Is this because he is a black coach? Don't they trust him?," Oberholzer asked.

"We all know that Peter (de Villiers) was not the first choice (for Bok coach) of (Saru President) Oregan Hoskins and (SA Rugby MD) Jonathan Stones.

"Are they deliberately trying to make it so unpleasant that he walks out?" the former Saru CEO continued.

He said De Villiers would certainly not accept a contract in which he does not have the final say on team selections.

"How can you expect him to coach a team he did not select," Oberholzer asked.

"I have never encountered such unprofessional behaviour," he said, adding that the role of Saru Vice-President Koos Basson in the whole saga must be questioned.

"I want to ask the Saru President's Council and these board members: 'What happens at their provinces? Why is it in order to give their provincial coaches the final word on selections, but not the Bok coach?'

"What makes it even worse is that nobody now wants to speak to us (De Villiers' agents). You can't speak to Jonathan Stones and Andy Marinos (General Manager national teams at Saru and the designated person to talk with De Villiers' agents) is now too scared to say anything."

De Villiers, was ready to sign the contract on Monday, but then his agents received an email from Marinos which said that while the board had initially agreed to all the terms of the contract, they have now said that the request from De Villiers to have the final say on selection is unconstitutional.

De Villiers has also been offered R200 000 a year less than his predecessor, World Cup-winning coach Jake White. The new coach has also rejected that offer.

Pics from the Recent East Swell in Durban - Bay of Plenty 09.01.08

2008-01-10T11:22:00.000Z

Me dropping into my 2nd wave - Surfing style...average

Me burning Tiny Tuna in style - Family wave

Bren dropping into a beast

Tont looking like he's done this all before

Big Tuna....arms everywhere

Tont staring at a wall

Tont with a little cover up

Davie

Steve Tuna - Back-hand machine

Fuzz

Return of the Downhill Extreme 2007

2008-01-08T11:18:00.001Z

Due to an immense amount of pressure and the threat of friends castrating me if I didn't comply, I recently organised another Downhill Extreme over the festive season. It was time, it really was. We're all a lot older and some things are slipping away or becoming more difficult to do, like an ollie on a skateboard for example. Not wanting to lose another awesome experience to age and maturity I happily got to work and sorted out the logistics.

I kept it small this time round because on previous occasions, what with un-scheduled boat races and shots of tequila thrown in, things predictably got a little out of hand. All well and good for those taking part, but as the organiser of this event it can be a little stressful hoping and praying that every soldier makes it to Waxy's alive and well. And with this Downhill Extreme taking part on the 22nd of December there was more than enough concern for me to deal with as I wouldn't have been a popular guy with some families had I been the idiot responsible for someone's son ending up in the Emergency Ward of Westville Hospital.

This year we kicked things off at the Bush Pub on the top of Botha's Hill. They weren't open so it was basically beers out the back of a bakkie, but the lack of a formal establishment was never going to be a cause of concern, as Mike McKenna clearly illustrated to my Mom in the driveway as we left, when he said that safety is in fact not first, it's beer first that counts.

The ride starts with a beer and then we frequent 10 stops along the way, with a drink at each watering hole and finally finishing at Waxy's in Westville. It's approximately 40kms and there are some challenging hills along the way. I think a lot of guys shocked themselves in terms of their personal levels of fitness and there was a lot wheezing on route with red faces and looks of despair along certain stretches of road.

Thanks go to the sponsors (Andy Camp, Andy and Nicky Arde and Wade Kerdachi). Without you guys the day would never have been possible. You guys are legends, shot for supporting such a worthy cause. And a big shout out to Shuz for designing the shirts. Having a matching shirt for each rider always seems to give us some level of credibility on the roads and the cops seem to turn a blind eye to all the swaying and swerving. And then a huge thanks to the support crew (Cally, Nix, Candice, Philippa and Lauren) who were always on standby to assist wherever needed and were on top of their game by always ensuring that our drinks were ordered and that money was being paid and people looked after.

High spirits regardless of the relentless heat

BMX Boy (A regular on the Downhill Extreme)

Father Christmas, a Polisie Cop and a guy with an ice bucket on his head dealing with a broken pedal

Beers kicking in

Support Crew

Surely the happiest guy to be taking part in another Downhill Extreme???

Camaraderie just like in the Comrades

Arde brothers looking a little moeg

Bossie Street took down many soldiers

This is the only way the tortoise would ever beat the hare

7 beers down and........................carnage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Travis Pastrana - Double Back flip

2007-12-03T11:47:00.000Z

Not much news of late. To fill the gap I'm sticking this video clip here of Travis Pastrana doing a double back flip. Bloody incredible if you consider that a couple of years ago, no one would have even dreamed of doing a single back flip, now it's the norm.

Anyway if I find any more interesting clips, this is where you'll find them

Issue Resolved

2007-11-02T11:47:00.000Z

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together each smoking a cigarette. The egg rolls over and says

"Well that solves that then"

World Champions

2007-10-22T11:15:00.000Z

Well there's no need for an explanation, the whole world surely knows that South Africa won the Rugby World Cup 2007 on Saturday night. What an awesome experience, took me right back to '95 when I was in Standard 9 and we won the trophy for the first time, although this time round it was better because I had ice cold Hansa's on tap coupled with cane and pashies on the side.
In the days preceding the match there was frantic panic with everyone trying to do something "special" for the final. It's quite difficult to get everyone on the same page for such a huge and important event, but in the end after exploring options such as Zinkwazi, Umzumbe , and going to Midmar everyone eventually came to the party - the party I refer to is the rip roarer that Nicky and Pants hosted at their house in Hillcrest. Seriously the amount of effort and attention to detail was magnificent!! Flags, Springbok blankets, green and gold shooters, predict-a-score, balloons, 3 braais and a flipping marquee in the back garden to host us all. There were 40 of us in the garden and it was comfortably packed. Not squashed, but full enough to feel like you were doing and sharing something big with a good group of friends. I played golf on Saturday afternoon and it was incredible to see how many guys were wearing their national colours on the golf course. I also witnessed people in the streets clad in their rugby jerseys as well as the odd car sporting an SA flag hanging from the window. When that final whistle blew and the ensuing chaos erupted, it was nothing short of awesome, awesome in the true sense of the word....not in the sense of "Hey bru, these sausage rolls are awesome"

The best part is that you knew there were about 40 million people simultaneously experiencing the same sense of euphoria with you. I think it's a stretch to say that the World Cup victory is going to end crime in the country and will bring us all so close together that all our problems will cease to exist, but I can definitely say with certainty that you could have walked the streets of South Africa on Saturday night and people from all races and social standings would have been high fiving each other, and it's pretty great to have had that, even if it was just for a few moments.

More Russell Peters - Somebody Gonna Get Hurt

2007-10-11T11:39:00.000Z

Russell Peters

2007-10-10T11:58:00.000Z

I've only ever seen clips of Russell Peters on You Tube, but from what I've seen he surely has to be one of the funniest comedians around. He's touring SA at the moment and I think a trip to one of his shows is definitely worth it.....provided you have the cash that is. Tickets come in at over R200 and some go for as much as R398, which is just crazy !!! You can go to Splashy Fenn for an entire weekend at that price.

Anyway, here's one of his clips that I found on You Tube....

Will Ferrell as George Bush

2007-09-26T11:14:00.000Z

I'm sure most of you have seen this before but it's a classic Ferrell moment and should be watched again...and again....and again.

(To watch - just click on the video and then pause it while the red line at the bottom moves along a bit, this will ensure you watch it without it stopping and starting)

Nix and Pants Hook Up - Finally

2007-09-06T11:13:00.000Z

On Saturday the 25th August my little sister (based on size, not age) married Andy Arde (aka Pants…..as in Andy-Pants…get it?) The day rolled out with precision and the months and months of planning, emailing, shouting, screaming and general arranging seemed to have paid off.

Most girls will tell you that the day of their wedding is the most special day of their entire lives and based on the amount of work that went into this wedding I think it’s fair to say that this statement applies for Nicky’s wedding day. From the day I arrived back from the UK there wasn’t a single time where if Nicky, Candice or my mother (or Pants for that matter) were in the same room together that this wedding wasn’t discussed. Whether it was seating arrangements, dj logistics or whether the lamb curry was going to be de-boned or not, there was always something that needed to be sorted out. I will say with blatant honesty that I don’t think a pack of guys could arrange a wedding. There’s just too much to do and I think our multi-tasking abilities are limited to holding a boerewors roll in one hand while grabbing a Hansa from the fridge with the other. Sometimes we even have to shout to the kitchen for one of the birds to grab a Hansa because we just can’t manage it ourselves. So well done girls, there was a lot to sort out for this wedding and I think you all did an amazing job. Associated to days of this nature is a fairly large cost and as we all know, nothing comes for free these days, so I bet Howie is pretty stoked that he’s finally palmed both his daughters off.

I won't go into detail about the actual events of the day, I think the photos below say more than enough, although in the picture of Nicky swinging the club, one thing that doesn't come through in the photo is that she nearly killed the hired photographer after she shanked her tee shot quite severely.

Choot Choot !!!!!

2007-08-30T11:07:00.000Z

And so on the weekend of the 10th and 11th of August we celebrated Andy's Bulls Party. All I can say is that we did the tradition of a Bulls Party full justice and there were more than a couple occasions where I thought I might die from laughing so hard. We did of course lose a few soldiers along the way, breakages were rife, which was to be expected considering the amount of straight cane that was consumed and we duly gave the groom an incredibly hard time.The house we stayed at was colossal. It boasted in the region of 6 bedrooms, all en-suite and all comfortably sleeping between 2 and 3 madmen. Without exaggerating I would say that if everyone brought themselves a mattress to sleep on this mansion could have slept around 50 people. While maneuvering yourself between the winding corridors you would often pass a random plasma varying in size from 24 inch to 42 inch. There was a bar area, a rooftop sundowner area, a pool, braai facilities, 3 levels of living space, a games room which included table tennis, pool table and dart board and enough room in the drive way to hold 10 Hummers.

The first night was incredibly hilarious and a little siff all at the same time. For those of you who have had the pleasure of witnessing Borat in his now infamous luminous green mankini, you'll appreciate how hard it was to not gag when Andy made his first appearance in a replica of said onesy. As he casually strutted down the flight of stairs to Elton John's "The Bitch is Back" the rest of us rolled around on the floor uncontrollably and I thought I was actually going to have a black-out and die right there from lack of breathing. This kicked the night off on a good note and things generally went downhill from there. Lots of drinking, lots of laughing and plenty of pool and table tennis. Shots of cane were being issued for such minor offences as losing a random ching or coming off second best at a table tennis dual. Shooter pool also made an appearance on the first night and once again shots of cane were in abundance.Closer to midnight we decided to head into the budding metropolis of Ballito. Being the responsible adults that we are, we phoned a taxi to come and fetch us. Being the irresponsible children that we are, we hijacked the taxi as it arrived to come and fetch us and drove it down the road. The look on the cab driver's fave was priceless. We later learned that his name was Johan or Johannes, but Jimmy seemed to suit him better. Jimmy was to be our very tolerant chauffeur for most of the weekend. Saturday morning was a tough one. Slowly but surely we all managed to rise and the slightly annoying bright and smiling faces of the "new guys" who had arrived didn't seem to make many of us feel any better. 18 holes of golf were looming and the thought of another ride on the cane train encouraged a few dry barks around the place.

We played Maidstone which is a 9 hole golf course with a bit of soul. It's dirt cheap to play but most of the holes are actually damn entertaining. The fairways were in good nick and the driver was out on most holes. Pity the standard of golf was so terrible. After golf we all headed back for another crazy night at the castle. Memories of the previous night had faded and we were all very thirsty. Saturday was much the same as the night before, which was unfortunate, because we all had to endure another night of looking at Andy in his mankini. Although at one point it was decided to end the pain so we went outside and tied Andy to the light pole and skipped back inside for another beer and another game of table tennis. The thing that made this Bulls Party so enjoyable was Andy's sporting behaviour of passing out on both nights and due to the depth of his sleep we were afforded the opportunity of abusing him to the max. Certain guys took things to a whole new level, you know who you are, and it was warmly welcomed if the cheers of laughter were anything to go by.

I don't think the memories of this weekend will fade fast and unfortunately for some of us Andy has taken full stock of all abuse and is storing it deep in his memory bank for future Bulls parties. Although I'm not too stressed, all I have to do is outlast Andy and I can be in line to abuse him all over again. Aaaahhhh.....good times.

29 - Almost and Adult

2007-08-02T11:00:00.000Z

Saturday the 28th of July I celebrated my 29th birthday in fine style. The idea was to have a braai and then a bonfire....a bronfire some might say (thank you Robyn). As far as I could tell it was a raging success. The picture above actually doesn't do the bonfire fair justice. IT WAS HUGE!!!!! The creosote covered fencing had something to do with this I feel. The toxic fumes didn't seem to bother anyone either, so that was good.

At one stage Bronny started to panic a little bit. Her son was out for the count and his friends were in the garden throwing wood onto the fire like their lives depended on it. Cries of "Make it bigger !!!!!!! Make it bigger !!!!!!" didn't seem to ease her concern. The neighbours probably thought some form of sacrifice was in motion.

That was the end of the night. The middle of the evening was spent quite calmly amongst friends, music, laughter and ultimately "Good Times" could be heard.

Shot guys for coming round it was a great evening. For those of you who weren't there I might need to explain certain pictures that follow below. This is the explanation.....3 shots cane, 1 shot gin, 1 shot brandy and topped up with white wine. Thanks Lenny for the down down, it was like I was 21 all over again.

Durban July - 07.07.07

2007-07-11T10:57:00.000Z

It was the first time since around 2001 that I had been to the Durban July. There had been a few changes around the place but generally it still is the same great day out that I remember. It always helps when you have the right mix of friends / gamblers surrounding you. In attendance was Tont, Jane, Billy, Courtney, Brendogg, Laura, Verve, Shane and Kerry, as well as a few others at various spots around the race course.

We had absolutely perfect weather. For those who might not know we’re actually in the grips of Winter here at the moment. And yet somehow you find yourself grappling for another beer to try and cool yourself down. Everyone arrived with the same idea and our little spot on the grandstand looked more like a shebeen than a high class horse racing event.

Like I said there had been a few changes at the July this year which included the following. There weren’t any Harley Davidson’s riding on display or any entertainment on the track between races at all really. Gold Circle encouraged everyone to vacate the premises at 9 bells and there wasn’t the usual pyrotechnics display at the end of the evening.

Some things still stayed the same though. I still lost all my money, there were still girls parading themselves around with barely any clothes on at all, and there was still a 13th race. In fact there was even some female representation in the 13th race this year, which was nice to see (http://www.durbanscouts.za.net/drupal/durban_july_13th_race)

Here’s a round-up of the day:

Lowlights

- Losing all my money
- Watching Mike win R650 on the winning horse in the main race (after a tip from Courtney)
- Having to leave the race course early cos of the new rules
- Losing the rugby against the Wobblies
- Losing my camera

Highlights

- Realising the next day that I had given my camera to my Mom
- Watching Billy get bummed because Courtney gave everyone the tip about the horse in the main race except her own boyfriend
- Having a jol back in Durban with all the maties
- Grazing a Johnny’s roti at the end of the night

Here’s a few action photos from the day.

Who needs enemies hey

Yo Momma's So Fat !!!

2007-06-21T05:53:00.000Z

Yo momma's so fat,she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat,when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate

Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies "Yes please"

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water

Yo momma's so fat,when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan

Yo momma's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo momma's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic

Yo momma's so fat,she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck

Yo momma's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips

Yo momma's so fat,they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through

Yo momma's so fat,she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change

Yo momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real

Yo momma's so fat,when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station

Yo momma's so fat,all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton

Yo momma's so fat,when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down

Yo momma's so fat,when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blankets" she got back in bed

Yo momma's so fat,she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth

Yo momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her

Yo momma's so fat,a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat, her picture takes two frames

Yo momma's so fat,her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

Jessica Turns 1

2007-05-21T13:55:00.000Z

I've never seen a 1 year old eat so many chips and sweets in one day, it was incredible. Howie had a close shave though when Jessica promptly up-chucked and managed to miss his head by a ball hair.

Here are some snaps of the party that went down on Sunday. If it wasn't for me saving the day at the last minute, that birthday cake wouldn't have had a candle on it. That's what uncles are for....

Super 14 Final - Sharks vs Bulls

2007-05-21T13:53:00.000Z

There's no point harping on about it, they won, we lost - here's some pictures from the day.....

My New Pride and Joy

2007-05-17T10:21:00.000Z

I did something a little crazy last week. What we have here is one times Ford Phantom and my newly purchased Yamaha YZ125. The girls will appreciate that all the colours match here, but it's pure coincidence I can assure you. I took my new toy for a test ride last week and rode it over the road from the ballie's place into the cane fields. I think the sign at the dirt road entrance marked "Private Property" and the picture of a motor bike with a big black line through it was more of a guideline than an instruction. Although the 3 girls on horseback I passed on 2 occasions didn't look overly excited about the fact that the tranquility of their Sunday stroll was being poisoned by the wine of a very loud 2-stroke motocross bike. I'm sure they'll get over it.

Anyway, this puppy is awesome. It's got a helluva lot of power to give and at the moment I'm only pulling a fraction of what it has to offer. Either I'll successfully learn how to ride this thing or my over confidence will land me in hospital. Thankfully medical aid is coming through this week.

Sharks Make South African Rugby History

2007-05-14T07:02:00.000Z

Ok, so not much of a story needed here. We all know what went down on Saturday, the Sharks convincingly booted the Blues out of the Super 14 and the Bulls helped secure an all SA Final by successfully getting rid of the Crusaders. I was there at Kings Park to witness it all and the atmosphere inside the stadium was out of this world. The only time I've been happier on a rugby day was back in '95 when we took the World Cup. I've tried to upload 2 videos from Saturday but You Tube is giving me attitude. I will keep trying and hopefully you'll be able to have some idea of what it was like being there.

Andy was there at the stadium this morning at 6am to get our 29 tickets, but they sold out when he was 30m from the ticket office. Needless to say there will be a massive braai going down this weekend, probably at Tont's house. Looking forward to every minute of it. GO SHARKS !!!!!!
Billy on anti-biotics...very responsible

Shortly before the bar ran out of beer

Anti-biotics kicking in

Umdloti

2007-05-10T06:10:00.000Z

I've been a little quiet on the blog front, so to keep you a little interested here's a few snaps from the recent days in Umdloti. For those of you overseas I'll try my best to post a few more pics of Durban in the near future.

Baj

Gymnastics Gone Wrong

2007-04-26T12:59:00.000Z

This is just too funny not to share. Perhaps if gymnastics were always like this it might carry a higher profile